Who Helps You be You?

Do you have a support system in your life?  Do you think it's necessary?

I had a pretty tough life growing up and that can really harden you.  Especially when you've been let down time and again by people you thought loved you or should have been there for you.

There was a time when I really shut off the rest of the world and tried to do everything by myself (with occasional requests to God).  I learned at an early age that people rarely followed through on what they said and it was better to just understand you couldn't rely on them, than it was to expect anything from them.

It turns out that way of living is very draining, stressful, and self-destructive.  But what other choice was there?  You can't very well make people care about you and become dependable.

It's funny though, because no matter how bad things got in my life they never went completely over the edge.  I always ended up being okay, even if I was barely hanging on.

Then, as cheesy as it sounds, one day I realized that God was really there the whole time.  He always had His eye on me and His hand wrapped around me.  He never let me fall all the way to the bottom without guiding me down gently, so that I could still get back up again.

Once I realized that, my whole outlook on life started to change.  It was a gradual change, but real nonetheless.

I started feeling different about my life, my circumstances, and the possibilities my life had to offer.  Over time my attitude changed, and with it so did my friendships and the other relationships in my life.  This didn't happen all at once, but it did happen.

One day I decided that I was going to be happy.  Again, I know how cheesy this sounds, but it's the absolute truth.  I decided that I was going to be happy and I took steps to make that happen.

It's been a long, complicated journey, but here I am pursuing my happiness and trying to share it with others around me.  Oh, I'm still human and I still have doubt, fears, and bad days just like everyone else.  But, those things don't determine my happiness or my path in life.

In a couple weeks, I'm going to marry my best friend, who loves me unconditionally with all his heart.  I have friends who embrace me with the love of a mother, grandmother, sister or girlfriend.  I have a church family who loves and supports me as if I've been a part of their family my whole life.  I have a God who fills me up with true happiness and wonder and love.

All of these people help me be me.  I love them all so much and I'm grateful for the impact that each one continues to make on my life!

Who helps you be you?

Talk to Me Tuesdays

I'd really like to hear what your interests are about the Contra Costa County community, or about community in general.

So, I've decided to start Talk to Me Tuesdays.  This is your chance to tell me what's on your mind so we can talk about it.


Looking forward to the conversation.

Memorable Monday - Charitable Acts

"Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven."  Henry Ward Beecher

I'm a sucker for a good quote.  So, I've decided to start Memorable Mondays to highlight a new quote each week and expand on it.

This week's quote is about a charitable act and how that leads to heaven.  I chose this quote after reading a story about Pittsburg resident Dan Hernak who
saved 3 women from a house fire on Saturday.

According to the Contra Costa Times, "The women, ranging in age from 58 to 90, suffered smoke inhalation and minor burns but investigators credited Pittsburg resident Dan Hernak, 47, with saving their lives."

Henry was leaving a friend's house in the neighborhood when he saw the smoke and flames.  His reaction was to help those inside.  He pulled an 84-year-old woman out of the house and ran back inside to get a 90-year-old woman and a 58-year-old woman.

Thank God for Henry's unselfishness.  He truly went above and beyond to help someone who desperately needed his help.

I'm truly inspired when I see someone give of himself without even considering what the reward might be, without being motivated by what he will personally gain from the encounter.  If that's not inspiring I don't know what is.

Fun Fact Friday - Tom Hanks

Did you know that actor Tom Hanks was born in Concord, CA on July 9, 1956, and his full name is Thomas Jeffrey Hanks?

My favorite Tom Hanks roles were in The Green Mile, Forrest Gump, and Saving Private Ryan.  All three of those movies have the power to make me stop what I’m doing to sit down and watch them.  For those of you who know me, you know how much power that takes. lol

A Few Fun Facts

Tom studied Theater at Chabot College and transferred to California State University – Sacramento. 

Tom wanted to become an Astronaut, but wasn’t good enough at math.

In June 2006 Hanks was inducted as an honorary member of the United States Army Rangers Hall of Fame for his role in Private Ryan (one of my personal favorites)

There are several interesting things about his life, but I thought this quote speaks to the importance of a community to a child.  "Since I moved around so much as a kid, I didn't have an awful lot of friends.” – Tom Hanks

Here’s a man who’s been in multiple blockbuster movies and has enjoyed success in television, writing, directing, and producing.  He also seems pretty darn likeable and you might just assume he would have all the friends he could ever want.  Makes you think about creating roots for your kids, doesn’t it?

People care more about a community they create and nurture than one they find themselves in.

"People will support that which the help to create." - Mary Kay Ash

It's very easy to find yourself in the safety of your own home and find fault with the community you live in.  It's not just easy, it's seems second nature to us.  We've all fallen into this trap at one point or another.  That's okay.

What's not okay is to stay in that place.  Or worse, to pull others down to that scary, dreadful place with you.  This place fosters fear, anger, and resentment.  Used for the right purpose these bad feelings can be transformed into knowledge, righteous indignation, and motivation.

The trick is climbing back out and not staying in the trap.  A huge factor in climbing out is the support you can draw on.  We all draw this support from different places.  For some of us it's family, for some it's an internal warrior within, for some it's a trusted friend, for many of us it's God.  For some, we may be still exploring where this strength comes from, which can be a journey of it's own.

When we find the areas were we have strength, we begin to find the place where we can help others.  What you find may surprise you.  I've found many hidden talents & strengths in the most unexpected places.

Often you get much more from helping another human being than you ever would have expected.  When you see that help amplified by that person "Paying it Forward" it's an indescribable feeling that will make you want to give again and again.

When you see your community evolving before your eyes, you notice it.  When you take steps to bring change to your community, like "Take Back Antioch" is attempting to do, it inspires you.  Inspired people who have a desire to take back their neighborhood and make it a desirable place to live again have more power than they know.  They have the power to work with their own hands and minds, inspiring those around them, and taking back their community.